To be a teacher!

Well today is over... not really a positive way to start I know. Silly really as it was actually a positive day. I have in fact two teachers this year, as they job share. They both are really lovely and seem really supportive, so no real complaints there. The school is lovely, friendly ethos, friendly and all helpful.

Think it’s me??

I hate London. Don’t think I have mentioned this yet but at the moment it seems to be the beginning, middle and end of my life at the moment. Oh and did I mention that I am studying in London? Well I am. London I am sure is a favorite spot for many, many people and, honestly I am not slagging of the place as a whole, just the place for me. I have nothing in common with people in London. I just can’t wait to be finished so I can run, run for miles and never come back. Actually that’s a lie, in fact I think I want to get away so I can go back to enjoying London, does that make sense? I use to love coming up here, seeing all my friends and just loving the convenience that is London, now I live here I never see my friends, I have no money and generally it’s a no win situation. God don’t I sound like a poor me. At least I know it.

Well I will be back in school next Monday, think this may help to settle my head, which as usual is all over the place.

Worries:
• Steve – is he going to get bored of all this moaning?
• Failure – I guess this is always on my mind. Is it everyone’s?

Good day for worries only two.

Finally it has come to me, I found out what it is I want to be doing for the rest of my life, it has only taken me 23 years to come to this conclusion, so why now, two and a half years in am questioning myself. Do I want to teach? Well this is me all over, straight into a defence mechanism. "If I don't like it I don't do it" my moto. So what do I do when ambition clashes with motto?

Training = Putting yourself in a vulnerable position, asking people to criticise you (practical criticism they call it)

Tomorrow is day one of my third year training, so part self indulgent, part therapy I have decided to “blog” my progress, so my diary is going to consist of two placement days tomorrow and the 11th of December then the big one, the block starting on the 12th of January.

So here goes the Belle de Jour of teaching. The nitty gritty of school life. What really goes on behind those school gates. Is it the beautiful place you tell yourself when you drop your children off there, here’s your chance to find out.

Oh nearly forgot I’m a born worrier, imagine the average worrier and I don’t know times it by about 756. (My lucky number is 56, long story and one day I might even write it down).

Worries:
• Will I get there on time?
• Will there be parking?
• Will my teacher be nice?
• Will she know what I am supposed to be doing?

Answers revealed tomorrow.